ON PURPOSE: an essay in seven parts (1/7)

I. Introduction

United States President Barack Obama, in his inauguration address, ascribed the current economic crisis to “our collective failure to make hard choices.” Sure, it may be true that Bush’s reign was to decisions as Russian roulette is to life. But to our defense, we were lost. We did not know where to go. We did not know where to turn. So we just sat there and let things happen. We believed we were not at fault because we had no say in the matter. We were silenced. We were small. We did not know. Sounds like communist police interrogations, does it not? We do not know anything but we will name names to save ourselves if need be.

So sure, I am willing to admit the economic crisis is due to OUR failure to decide. But what about the individual? Are we any different? I sat and brooded over our prevarication until it transmuted into my ennui. What is worse, I did not even take notice of this metamorphose when it took place. Then it hit me–there is an inherent problem in decision making. All the late great philosophers debate and lay out logic and reason which paved the way for the scientific revolution. Despite how far theory has come we cannot apply this life. We cannot apply the scientific method to this experiment called the human choice. There is a control–you, but no variables. How could there be? We can only base our decisions upon what we think would be best. Still, really, there is no way of knowing if our choice was the best since we cannot rewind and fast forward our lives as we please. When things go well we will think our choices were correct, but when things go bad, of course, the only culprit could be the previous wrong decision. If we cannot really know what choice is best do choices really matter? Does it make a difference whether one chooses that over this or this over that? Why all this struggle? Besides, what is the basic struggle of man? Is it good verses evil? Is it love? Is it mankind? What is our purpose? Is there even a purpose to life?

Pondering these questions I conclude it all comes down to purpose. Thinking about the purpose of humanity is too big of a concept for a girl at the dawn of merely twenty-five years to tackle, so I reduce it to something more personal. What is my purpose? Before I can attack the question head on I must think of what factors into my purpose. So I think. And I think. And I think a little more. I think one must first ponder the meaning of life. I know that the answer to this question cannot even be agreed upon anonymously by all the metaphysicians, but one must ponder it if nothing else than an exercise in critical thinking. After that one can think of things in a more personal manner. I believe my purpose comes from the choices I make, my faith in living nobly, and moving forward–always moving forward.