ON PURPOSE: an essay in seven parts (3/7)

III. Choice: free-will vs. determinism

Back when I was an atheist I always would explain myself by self-importantly decreeing that no free man needs a god. Who needs someone else when you have yourself? It was an attitude I (not so proudly in hindsight) assimilated into my perspective after discovering Nietzsche and subsequently binge reading key texts of the existentialist canon. (All proclamations during this period were of self-importance. I guess the voice of Ecce Homo is contagious.)

I am amazed at the amount of people who believe in free will while at the same time believing in predestination. How could that be so? One either can make his own decisions or he cannot. There is no half way, no pick and choose as you please. Me, well I believe in free will. I believe each and every person is a free and autonomous being who holds the keys to their own future. I do not believe this is an ability or decision which one can choose one way or the other. It is inherent of the human condition.

To me determinism is the easy way out. Why is determinism so easy? When one believes that his fate is already determined and he has no say in the matter he automatically loses responsibility. He returns back to a state of childhood–a perverse form of innocence obscured by obstinate immaturity. Is anything at stake when one willingly betrays the free will endowed to each and every one of us? Does he give it away for some benefit? While seemingly simplifying his life by riding himself of the burden of choice he concedes something much more valuable. In this game of steering clear from accountability he gives up his freedom. Freedom is inconceivable without responsibly. If a person is unable to be in control of his own life it is out of the question to be in control of how his life will affect others. Therefore he does not deserve freedom.

Determinism is a clever invention to justify a miserable existence. How else could we live such a monotonous life without feeling that things were meant to be that this is our place? That where we are is out of our control. The egotists, no doubt, believe in free will–they dare not blame an outside force for their glory. But the poor? What do they think? I lived in a village for eight months. Everyone went to church every Sunday then returned home and resumed their lives living exactly opposite of that as believers. Then again, they still believe. Do they ever stop to think about it? Their parents were believers and what was good enough for their parents is good enough for them. And what is good enough for them is good enough for their children and generations circle while progressing little.

Sometimes I wonder if they are really truly happy, or if they just settled on the life that they were born into? I wonder if they believe they can change whatever they would like about their lives. Everyone is in control of their own destiny. Anyone can get up and change their life when they please. Of course, it is not as easy done as said. It requires hard work and getting out of the house. That is it!