ON PURPOSE: an essay in seven parts (4/7)

IV. Loss of the Noble Cause

What does it mean to be noble? The dictionary says it is possessing high ideals and excellent moral character. The thesaurus says it is synonymous to honorable, principled, moral, virtuous, decent, upright, gallant, polite, self-sacrificing, magnanimous, virtuous, just…

Self sacrificing. Why must one become a martyr to live decently? Why must so many people take the easy way to success by way of stealing, cheating, lying and so on.

The saddest part of all: once an decadent exploit is exposed his partner in crime and many that are exactly the same as him will find satisfaction in his downfall. Their faces, turning from red to blue, will cry out of the shame bestowed upon whatever he was undertaking.

One of my really good friends once tried to confide the ways of life to me, “You must learn a lesson and once you do you won’t have these moral problems: Nothing in this world is innocent!”

Is it really a loss of innocence or just surfeited politics? This past year I have been so affected by politics it was ridiculous. I am not naïve enough to believe that this world can run without politics, but never have politics affected me so personally. When I lived, studied, worked, and competed in America of course politics were present, but they stayed where they belonged–in the executive division of each organization I belonged too. Never have I seen, heard, or experienced a trickling down of politics into lower tiers. All of this asinine astuteness is enough to put one in a state of trepidation.

As more and more years pass the less and less noble things become for me. And I want so desperately to be noble. To be able to hold my head up high and say I might not have money but at least I respected my fellow man, at least I was principled and proper.

When I started university I lived in a bubble of dreams. I used to believe a career in politics was noble. Can you believe it? I could not even last a year of study in the subject when I switched my major to music. I guess the idea of helping your fellow countrymen, to fight for their freedoms and rights is only noble in theory. When in real life it becomes of game of word manipulation, promises and bribes, saving face, stealing money, and I bet there is a lot more that I do not even know about.

At the age of twenty I questioned everything I did and why and what was the purpose and if anything really even mattered. I even questioned why I ran? Was it some subconscious remedy to physically act out upon a verb that I should be mentally working through? I was not in it for glory. I was not in it for medals. I was not in for prizes. When it came down to it, I was in it because it was noble to me. In my innocent perspective athletics signified everything that was right with the world: people getting together to test and tempt the limits human possibly. What could be more pure in such a tainted world? As I grow older it gets harder and harder to put doping incidences aside. Maybe, it is not as noble as I thought it to be. It is so hard for me to comprehend why. It is just athletics. In the scheme of the things it does not matter. Is it just for a gold medal? Just think about it: it is just a pseudo-gold medallion on a ribbon. You cannot even wear it. You can either throw it away, store it in a box never to be seen again, or, and most vainly you can hang it on the wall, where it can stare down at you and mock this image of greatness. It is pointless. I sometimes wonder who came up with the idea of trophies and medals. It is such an asinine concept.

I will now leave you with an analogy to ponder upon in your free time:
False gods : Catholicism :: medals/trophies : competition.